Top 10 Signs You're Right For Each Other

February 19, 2016

We all know that couple, the ones who knew they were soulmates from the moment they'd laid eyes on each other. Those couples are adorable and also insufferable.

Meanwhile, for the other 99% of us, we've gone through every relationship wondering, at various times, "Is she really the one?" It's a tough call, amigo, but here are 10 signs she might be.

1. You Hate Things Together

A lot of couples share a favorite song, a favorite restaurant; a favorite movie, and that's all great. What bonds other couples, however, is what they hate together. My girl and I hate the same things (like a local clothing chain that is so pretentious and treats its employees so poorly, it represents everything we both hate about aspirational consumerism, for example) and it has only strengthened our connection.

2. She's Not Grossed Out By You Doing #2

Speaking of unconditional love, if there's one thing that could put off a partner, it's how long you might take — and what transpires — in the john. Yeah, we're all human, but in this regard some of us are far, far more human than others, prone to longer throne time than our brethren. But if you emerge from the bathroom 20 minutes later to an amused partner, who even perhaps congratulates you on your exploits, then she is a rare bird indeed. Don't let that bird go. Hold on to that bird.

3. She Thinks You're The Funniest

Here's some circular logic for you. Your girl likes you because you're really funny. But maybe she only thinks you're funny because she really likes you. Sure, you may think you have a quality riff on, say, airplane food that sends your friends howling, and maybe that's what won her over. On the other hand, maybe it's a dumb riff that she didn't find funny, but dang if your Galifianakis-grade beard or Gosling-grade peepers didn't already have her swooning, thus making everything else about you gravy for her, including the theoretical nature of your funniness.

4. Her Friends Are Rad, But Not Too Rad

Well, this one's tricky. You want to like her friends, obviously. You want to enjoy spending time with them. You want them to be cool enough so that a) they're fun to hang with, and b) they're a positive influence on her. So if they're like that, then that's fantastic and she is obviously a quality individual. But watch out, because you don't want her girlfriends to be so cool that you secretly wish you were dating one of them ^[1] instead.

5. She Tolerates Your Gross Couch

Behold, your couch; your dog-eared, Ikea-sourced nap-station par excellence. Though the years haven't been kind to it; frayed trim, funky stains, funkier odors; you can't quit that couch. So you take it along, from apartment to apartment. Sure, it may clash with your lady's neutral-colored ottoman, or the very grown-up Eames lounger you bought together ^[2]. But you still won't quit that couch, and if your girl understands this unflinching loyalty, she, like your couch, is a keeper. Bless her. Bless that couch.

6. She's An Entrepreneur

I don't mean that she's running a successful start-up — though if she did invent a new payment app or cold-pressed juice that cures racism, then that's obviously cool and I'm a big proponent of being a trophy husband. But I really mean that she just has a motor to get out and do stuff, and doesn't wait for you to tell her what you guys are gonna do on your day off; hobbies, volunteering, being active — you know, all the crap you say you do in your dating profile. You want someone active, not passive.

7. She's The First Person You Share Things With

There you are, minding your own business, walking down the street, when you spot a dude sporting the perfect mullet. You take a surreptitious photo because, like me, you're just another judgmental ass with a smartphone. But most importantly, who's the first person you want to show that mullet to? If you answered "My girlfriend. She will be the first to see this mullet, because she respects greatness and beauty and I in turn respect her greatness and beauty, and I want her to laugh with me right now," then you have found your life partner in crime.

8. You Agree On Politics

In these times of geopolitical turmoil, it's imperative we engage in rigorous exchange of ideas, in a valiant effort to try to help solve the world's ills, with one debate at a time. Spirited political disagreement is, after all, what fuels our democracy. Spirited political disagreement is also, sadly, what kills relationships. You guys need to agree on politics, like how much tax you want to pay, if and when we should go to war, reproductive rights, gun rights, immigration, or what to do about climate change. Because when the sh*t hits the fan, if you guys didn't agree on those core things, it's gonna be a long, awkward wait in that survival bunker.

9. But You Disagree On Culture

My girlfriend and I share some common musical taste, but there are some pretty hard diversions too. This keeps it interesting, and it gives me a break from my own playlists, and I learn to appreciate other stuff. She likes that New Country, like Keith Urban and Blake Shelton, so we'll listen to it in the car sometimes. We don't have to love each others' stuff, but we respect it, or if not respect, we make fun of it in a way that is relatively respectful.

10. She Writes A Hell Of A 'Thank You' Note

Class: she's got it in spades. Not only does she charm the corduroys off your parents when she first meets them ^[4], but she then pulls the ultimate power move: sending them a handwritten note the next day to say how nice it was to meet them. The only thing classier would be for her to send them wine from her personal winery. Of course, she doesn't have her own winery — if she does, you goddamn better know she's your soul mate — but she does have manners, and as my dear departed Gran liked to say, manners are your passport to anywhere.

Have a dating question ^[5] ? Get it answered by AskMen's guyQ ^[6].